It wasn’t till I was married around 8 months ago, that I experienced the awful phenomena that is people asking/assuming that I was pregnant and making the resulting awkward comments.
The worst of it started around 2-3 weeks ago at my work. I work in an office with at least a couple hundred people, and have only been working there for a few months. I work mainly with engineers, which already makes for awkward conversation, but add in a rumour that I’m pregnant, and BOOM, say hello to cringe-worthy, irreversibly bad lunch room conversation.
It was one regularly bleak Monday that started the saga that is my Not-Pregnant dilemma. I started a conversation with one of my co-workers while we were fixing ourselves cups of tea in the ‘social test-tube’ that is the lunch room. Not long since we started talking, did he drop in a “Congratulations, by the way!” with a beaming smile on his face. I replied in innocent confusion, “What for?!” To my surprise, even though he was an engineer, he handled the situation surprisingly well, by quickly popping out a “oh, sorry,” and avoiding eye contact.
The next day, I was still naively optimistic, and smiley headed to the lunch room for my 9am tea. As soon as I walked through the door, one of the two women there greeted me with a, “Oh, what a beautiful little tummy!” I can’t really remember the exact conversation that followed, (I tend to blur bad memories 😉 …) but the message was gotten across that I was in fact, NOT PREGNANT, contrary to popular belief. You can believe that there was also a hella lot of back peddling going on once the facts were established, but alas, the damage was done. It’s safe to say I spent the rest of the day hiding at my desk, hoping the rumour would die out soon and I’d be able to avoid any more awkward encounters.
By the following week, I was feeling okay about my much talked about, not-pregnant, abdomen. To continue on this wave of feeling okay, I decided to head to my afternoon pick-me-up which is my Yoga class. I normally always leave feeling amazing, so off I went with my usual high expectations. Around half way through the class, during some plank to low plank to upward dog (which involves lying your tummy on the ground) I was approached by the Yoga Teacher and asked whether I was sure it was okay for me to fully on the ground on my front. I was confused, and informed her of my non-pregnancy and actual food baby. As you would expect, the conversation was loud enough that the WHOLE class heard. Safe to say I’ve been pretty irregular to that Yoga class post that traumatising-awkward experience.
On a serious note, one should never make comments to a woman, even if you’re like 99% sure she’s pregnant. For one, it makes us girls feel crap about having any tummy fat at all. There are so many men when large bellies, that would easily be mistaken for a baby-bump if they were female, but they don’t have to deal with all the crappy, awkward comments that we do! Also, many couples struggle with not being able to have children, so making pregnancy comments to the woman is just plain insensitive and rude.
So guys and girls, hold your tongue, and next time you want to comment on a woman’s appearance, try just say, “Wow, you look awesome!” Anddddd stop. Done, happy. Walk away.
Do you think it’s okay to assume a woman is pregnant if you think she looks it? Share below!
Note: I wrote this post a few months ago and never got around to posting it, but I decided to bring it out, since I think it’s a story and struggle worth sharing.
I’ve shared this on Ingrid’s link up party, here.